MANAGUA, Nicaragua (AP) - A man who joked to friends that he would eat a fish live choked to death when the creature squirmed and lodged in his throat, police and coroner's officials said Thursday.
Police said the incident occurred when Jose Angel Torres Padilla, 22, was fishing with friends on Monday in the municipality of Dario, about 70 kilometres north of the capital.
Police said the man's friends told them he had put the fish in his mouth, joking that he was going to eat it live. But the fish squirmed and slipped down his throat.
Benito Lindo, coroner for the provincial capital of Matagalpa, told The Associated Press by telephone that doctors conducting an autopsy had found a fish in the man's throat.
Click here for article
1/28/05
1/27/05
Having a lake named after you
When I was a child, my family used to take our vacations, sometimes, in British Columbia. We had a favorite place to visit, mostly, because of the fine fishing. It was at a Lake that was about 30 miles long and a 1/2 mile wide.
While we were around our campfire, in the evening, the local Indians would go from camp to camp selling their wares. They would, also, tell of the Legends of the area. This one Legend always stuck, in my mind. It seemed that, on this particular Lake, two Indian Tribes made their homes. They were, however, at War, with one another, from years before. There was an Indian Maiden, in one Camp, who was in love with a young Brave, in the other Camp, and they used to stand, on the shore, on their respective side, of the Lake, and chant Indian love calls, to each other. Even though they were warned, by their Chiefs, that nothing could ever come, of it.
One day, they just could not stand being apart, any longer. That evening, on a cold Fall night, they each jumped, into the Lake and swam towards each other in the Moonlight. When they reached each other, in the center, of the Lake, they embraced and, very quickly, froze to death. This act, so impressed the Brave's Tribe, that they named the Lake after the young man.
I will never forget, those wonderful vacations that we spent at "Lake Stupid
(author unknown)
While we were around our campfire, in the evening, the local Indians would go from camp to camp selling their wares. They would, also, tell of the Legends of the area. This one Legend always stuck, in my mind. It seemed that, on this particular Lake, two Indian Tribes made their homes. They were, however, at War, with one another, from years before. There was an Indian Maiden, in one Camp, who was in love with a young Brave, in the other Camp, and they used to stand, on the shore, on their respective side, of the Lake, and chant Indian love calls, to each other. Even though they were warned, by their Chiefs, that nothing could ever come, of it.
One day, they just could not stand being apart, any longer. That evening, on a cold Fall night, they each jumped, into the Lake and swam towards each other in the Moonlight. When they reached each other, in the center, of the Lake, they embraced and, very quickly, froze to death. This act, so impressed the Brave's Tribe, that they named the Lake after the young man.
I will never forget, those wonderful vacations that we spent at "Lake Stupid
(author unknown)
1/20/05
76 Ways to know if you drink too much coffee...
You answer the door before people knock.
Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
The only kitchen appliances you own are made by Mr. Coffee.
You ski uphill.
You get a tax cut for all the coffee you bought.
You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
You speed walk in your sleep.
You have a bumper sticker that says: "Coffee drinkers are good in the sack."
You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit.
You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
You sleep with your eyes open.
When you open your dish cabinet, and there is only mugs.
You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
You lick your coffeepot clean.
You spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell House."
You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there. You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
Your coffee cake, must have coffee in it.
You chew on other people's fingernails.
Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend."
You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.
You can type sixty words per minute... with your feet.
The only gift you get for Valentines Day you get chocolate covered beans.
You can jump-start your car without cables.
All your kids are named "Joe".
Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
You don't sweat, you percolate.
You buy 1/2 & 1/2 by the barrel.
You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
Every shirt or blouse you own has a coffee stain on it.
You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
People get dizzy just watching you.
You've worn the finish off your coffee table.
The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
You're so wired, you pick up AM radio and people test their batteries in your ears.
Your life's goal is to amount to a hill of beans.
Instant coffee takes too long.
When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."
You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.
Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
Your hand is permanently shaped to hold your mug.
You'd be willing to spend time in a Turkish prison.
You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.
You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.
You name your cats "Cream" and "Sugar."
You get drunk just so you can sober up.
You speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a lesson.
Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.
You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
You can jump to the moon.
You short out motion detectors.
You have a conniption over spilled milk.
You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
You don't tan, you roast.
You don't get mad, you get steamed.
Your three favorite things in life are...coffee before, coffee during and coffee after.
You can't even remember your second cup.
You help your dog chase its tail.
You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
Your coffee mug is insured by Lloyds of London.
You introduce your spouse as your coffeemate.
You think CPR stands for "Coffee Provides Resuscitation."
Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.
Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
The only kitchen appliances you own are made by Mr. Coffee.
You ski uphill.
You get a tax cut for all the coffee you bought.
You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
You speed walk in your sleep.
You have a bumper sticker that says: "Coffee drinkers are good in the sack."
You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit.
You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
You sleep with your eyes open.
When you open your dish cabinet, and there is only mugs.
You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
You lick your coffeepot clean.
You spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell House."
You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there. You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
Your coffee cake, must have coffee in it.
You chew on other people's fingernails.
Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend."
You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.
You can type sixty words per minute... with your feet.
The only gift you get for Valentines Day you get chocolate covered beans.
You can jump-start your car without cables.
All your kids are named "Joe".
Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
You don't sweat, you percolate.
You buy 1/2 & 1/2 by the barrel.
You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
Every shirt or blouse you own has a coffee stain on it.
You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
People get dizzy just watching you.
You've worn the finish off your coffee table.
The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
You're so wired, you pick up AM radio and people test their batteries in your ears.
Your life's goal is to amount to a hill of beans.
Instant coffee takes too long.
When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."
You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.
Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
Your hand is permanently shaped to hold your mug.
You'd be willing to spend time in a Turkish prison.
You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.
You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.
You name your cats "Cream" and "Sugar."
You get drunk just so you can sober up.
You speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a lesson.
Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.
You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
You can jump to the moon.
You short out motion detectors.
You have a conniption over spilled milk.
You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
You don't tan, you roast.
You don't get mad, you get steamed.
Your three favorite things in life are...coffee before, coffee during and coffee after.
You can't even remember your second cup.
You help your dog chase its tail.
You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
Your coffee mug is insured by Lloyds of London.
You introduce your spouse as your coffeemate.
You think CPR stands for "Coffee Provides Resuscitation."
Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.
1/17/05
A student's prayer
A college student wrote a letter home,
"Dear folks, I feel miserable because I have to keep writing for money. I feel ashamed and unhappy. I have to ask for another hundred, but every cell in my body rebels. I beg on bended knee that you forgive me.
Your son, Marvin.
P.S. I felt so terribleI ran after the mailman who picked this up in the box at the corner. I wanted to take this letter and burn it. I prayed to God that I could get it back. But it was too late."
A few days later he received a letter from his father. It said,
"Your prayers were answered. Your letter never came!"
"Dear folks, I feel miserable because I have to keep writing for money. I feel ashamed and unhappy. I have to ask for another hundred, but every cell in my body rebels. I beg on bended knee that you forgive me.
Your son, Marvin.
P.S. I felt so terribleI ran after the mailman who picked this up in the box at the corner. I wanted to take this letter and burn it. I prayed to God that I could get it back. But it was too late."
A few days later he received a letter from his father. It said,
"Your prayers were answered. Your letter never came!"
1/14/05
1/10/05
Little-Known Facts In Canadian History
- Technically, Rowdy Roddy Piper and Bret "the Hitman" Hart are also famous Canadian historical figures.
- It's a fact: During the War of 1812, British and Canadian troops marched on Washington and burned down the White House.
- It's a fact: During the War of 1812, British and Canadian troops marched on Washington and burned down the White House. (Just wanted to repeat that one for the benefit of our neighbours.)
- First World War -- Canada enters in 1914, the U.S. enters in 1917. Second World War -- Canada enters in 1939, the U.S. enters in 1941. Conclusion: Don't mess with us.
- July 2, 1867: Sir John A. Macdonald utters those stirring words that will forever be remembered by his fellow Canadians: "Me and the boys did what last night?"
- When he set up his equipment in St. John's to receive the world's radio signal, Marconi heard the world's first live broadcast of a Great Big Sea contest.
- Lester Pearson? Prime Minister, diplomat, Nobel Prize winner, world kickboxing champion -- a true Renaissance man.
- Tragically, Laura Secord was lactose-intolerant.
- The native guy who first told the British that beaver hats looked good on them was actually just pulling their legs -- fer cryin' out loud, they were hats made from beavers!
- Secret documents have revealed that it was actually Canada that joined Newfoundland in1949. They just kept the name "Canada" because no one wanted the hassle of ordering new stationery.
Again, copied from The Canada Page
1/6/05
Too Stupid to be true
Is this for real? Or is this just more re-inforcement to the idea we live in a generation where money hungry idiots can get the money they want from finding a way to make something stupid they did someone else's fault?
You need to read the article. A man is suing NBC for 2.5 million dollars because watching a person eat a dead rat on Fear Factor made him vomit.
I get that way too, where sometimes I see stuff on TV that makes me wanna throw up. You know what I do? I DON'T WATCH IT! I change the channel. Is there really anybody alive in North America that watches reality shows like Fear Factor not knowing what kind of stuff they'll see when they put it on?
Man, with the money I need to raise to go to Holland, I could make billions if I had of only thought of suing a TV network for not liking something they showed. This guy is either stupid or brilliant. Nope, he's stupid. We need a disclaimer at the beginning of every single show and every single commercial break for things. It's bad enough they have warning labels for every single common sense thing that nobody in their right mind needs to be warned of.
Unbelievable.
You need to read the article. A man is suing NBC for 2.5 million dollars because watching a person eat a dead rat on Fear Factor made him vomit.
I get that way too, where sometimes I see stuff on TV that makes me wanna throw up. You know what I do? I DON'T WATCH IT! I change the channel. Is there really anybody alive in North America that watches reality shows like Fear Factor not knowing what kind of stuff they'll see when they put it on?
Man, with the money I need to raise to go to Holland, I could make billions if I had of only thought of suing a TV network for not liking something they showed. This guy is either stupid or brilliant. Nope, he's stupid. We need a disclaimer at the beginning of every single show and every single commercial break for things. It's bad enough they have warning labels for every single common sense thing that nobody in their right mind needs to be warned of.
Unbelievable.
1/5/05
15 Things to do at Wal-mart
This was an e-mail my dad forwarded to me.
Subject: 15 things a man can do at Wal-Mart -- while his wife is taking her sweet time
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone: 'Code 3 in House wares' . and see what happens.
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay-away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set-up a tent in the Camping Department -- and tell other shoppers you're sleeping over; invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bedding Department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the Hunting Department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."
12. In the Auto Department, practice your "Madonna look" using different sized funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack . . and when people browse through, say: "PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO!...It's those voices again!!!"
And last but not least:
15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while . . . then yell loudly: "There's no toilet paper in here!"
Subject: 15 things a man can do at Wal-Mart -- while his wife is taking her sweet time
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone: 'Code 3 in House wares' . and see what happens.
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay-away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set-up a tent in the Camping Department -- and tell other shoppers you're sleeping over; invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bedding Department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the Hunting Department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."
12. In the Auto Department, practice your "Madonna look" using different sized funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack . . and when people browse through, say: "PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO!...It's those voices again!!!"
And last but not least:
15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while . . . then yell loudly: "There's no toilet paper in here!"
1/1/05
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