Ways Life Would Be Different if Canada Ruled the World

1. American dollar? If we're in a good mood, 32 cents Canadian.
   
2. New taste sensation at McDonald's: the McPoutine.
   
3. Guaranteed gold medals for Canada in every Winter Olympic event, dagnabbit!
   
4. Mapmakers would need to order a heck of a lot more pink, that's for sure.
   
5. All the top entertainers and news anchors in the States will be Canadian (no, wait, we're doing that already).
   
6. Federal law requiring more questions about Saskatchewan on Jeopardy!
   
7. New teen drama series on Fox starring Jason Priestley: Rosedale M4W 1T7.
   
8. United Nations disputes solved by best-in-three curling shootouts.
   
9. Non-stop Beachcombers and King of Kensington reruns to show rest of the world that their new Canadian overlords are down-to-earth folks just like them.
   
10. Three words: more street hockey

Again, borrowed from the Canada Page

Nice Doggy 

A Star Trek class

This is too stupid to be true. I never knew there were real die hard trekkies out there that needed to have a university class on Star Trek. Yes it's true.

"Another topic for class discussion will be the "prime directive," the rule dictating that Starfleet officers must not interfere in the development of alien cultures.

O'Conner will bring up Kirk's constant violations of the prime directive, in addition to relating the concept to current U.S. foreign policy."

Check it out for yourself:

Questionaire.

Hey I seldomnly fill these kind of e-mails out, but in the era of blogging I thought what better way to get people to not send them to me than by putting mine on my blog. That way, people can read my answers, and they're online and nobody will have to e-mail me this forward again, but read my answers online. It's the perfect plan.....

1. What time is it ? 11:03pm

2. Name on birth certificate? Stephen George Bremner

3. Nickname? "Bremner"

4. Number of candles on last birthday cake? 1 shaped as the number 23

5. Birthday? 07/27/81

6. Pets? Giraffee, Iguana, koala bear, and 74 cats. I'm a crazy old lady.

7. Hair ? What about it?

8. Piercing? Both ears, and in pre-FIRE days my eyebrow used to be

9. Eyes ? Yes I got a couple of those too.

10. Hometown? The P Dot, aka Peterborough, Ontario

11 .Town you live in now? The P Dot

12. Favourite food ? Variations of pasta and tomato sauce

13. Been to Africa? In my day dreams of starting my own tribe named "Beeg-mak-attaq"

14. Toilet papering house? Oh! Who told you? There's nothing funner than doing in to a car in Canada in winter and spraying the thing with a garden hose so it freezes that way.

15. Love someone so much it made you cry? Since any of them who have could be reading this, the answer is "NO of course not, fairies cry. Babies cry and need their mommies not men".

16. Been in a car accident? Not yet, but I'm looking forward to my first time. Only one time I hit the no speeding sign in my apartment complex b/c i was distracted by my coffee spilling on my feet and tried cleaning it up while I turned that corner

17. Croutons or Bacon Bits? bacon

18. Favourite Day? Canada Day.

19. Favourite Restaurant? Monterey's in Pcola, where you could eat tortilla chips for hours for only 3 bucks! And Lamberts in Foley, AL where they throw rolls at you.

20. Favourite flower? Stupid question.

21. Favourite sport to watch? Hockey (Go Leafs!--oh wait, they're all on strike this season--those greedy athletes)

22. Favourite drink ? Gourmet Coffee

23. Disney or Warner Brothers? I have no idea

24. Favourite ice cream? Uncooked pork swirl

25. Favourite fast food restaurant? Subway

26. Colour of your bedroom carpet? Light grey.

27. How many times did you fail your official drivers' test? None, it was only ten minutes and she didn't even make me parallel park.

28. Before this one who did you get your last e-mail from? The Tibbits' latest missionary e-newsletter

29. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card ? Don't have a credit card, but it would be some kind of Christian bookstore like MorningStar's.

30. What do you do when you're bored? I don't get bored. I pray in tongues, write blogs (www.fierycanadian.blogspot.com for the latest spiritual adventures or testimonies, or www.canadianbacon2.blogspot.com for an outlet for my goofiness) or I memorize Scripture--I don't feel like any of my day goes to waste.

31. Most annoying thing people ask me? "How's it going?" But in passing, without letting me answer. To this I stop people and grab them by the shoulders and proceed to tell them everything new with me.

32. Bedtime? Sometime in the a.m. period of the day.


33. Who will respond to this e-mail the quickest? Nobody responds when I send these lame e-mails out.

34. Who is the person least likely to respond? Look at my list of people I e-mailed it to and pick any one in particular.

35. Last person you went out for dinner with? My dad after picking me up from the Airport in Toronto called "Markham Station"

36. Favourite T.V. show ? Not that listing them as my favorite means I watch them ALL the time, but I like The Simpsons, Everybody Loves Raymond, and my all-time favorite right now has been a fairly new show on Fox called Arrested Development. To a lesser degree sketch comedies like Saturday Night Live, and also Royal Canadian Air Farce and This Hour Has 22 Minutes on CBC.

37. Ford or Chevy? Whatever you'll give me to drive, I'll take without complaining.

38. Best Friend? I don't have a particular individual one, but a handful I'd pick from that are always there for me, and that I'd do anything for: Paul Pedosiuk, Robert Gordon, Kevin Wilson (all Canadian), or my sister Neeley Herbert, or any of the roomates I just had in NC.

39. Kids? Yes, seven boys and 8 girls

40. Any tattoos? Tatoos are of the devil and I get uptight and mercilessly judge anyone who has one as being unspiritual. 40a) Favorite Tattoo:I have a tatoo of Captain Spock from the old Star Trek TV series tatooed on my retina so I can see him everywhere I go.

41. Work? Currently unemployed as I just arrived back in the country and have not left the house to go job hunting yet.

42. Happy with your life at this point? ABSOLUTELY!!! The steps of a righteous man are ordered.

43. Christmas or Easter? Yes. Those are the two occasions for which I go to church.

44. Like Halloween? Depends. I lean towards the idea something is wrong with having little kids dress up like demons and come knocking on my door wanting candy or money.

45. Favourite Perfume or aftershave? Gilette wild rain aftershave lotion. I'm not a big cologne wearer unless my roomates have a bottle. 47. Any regrets? Not doing as much or having done as much yet for the cause of Christ and a revolution in society as I know to.

48. Favourite radio station? Chaos radio in my hometown (go Rick!)

49. Favourite music? Prophetic worship, hard stuff and U2 music, and Tree63 definitely is up there on my top 5 somewhere.

50. Siblings ? Yes Mike "what?!" Bremner, younger than me

51. Time you finished this e-mail? 11:25

PS If you took all of my answers as serious and not goofy than you really know me less than I thought.

10 Words that sound like "Canada"

1. Enchilada
   
2. Erik Estrada
   
3. Salada
   
4. Ramada
   
5. Yamaha
   
6. Bananarama
   
7. Xanadu
   
8. Grenada
   
9. Chumbawumba
   
10. Pina colada!

Onions

Did you know that some cultures used to use onions as currency?
Man, people are pretty stupid, eh?

Top Ten Questions and Statements said to me while living in the USA

1. “What exactly is Canadian Bacon?"
2. “So…, it’s like cold there, right?”
3. “Who is your president?”
4. “You’re from Canada? Do you know (so-and-so) from (random Canadian city)?”
5. “Yeah, I saw something on TV about that Quebec thing a while back.”
6. “Aren’t you guys British?”
7. “Have you ever been to the Toronto Airport revival?"
8. “Hey! I saw (random Canadian actor/singer) on TV yesterday! He’s Canadian ? I was going to call you.”
9. “Can you say oot and aboot for me? Eh?”
10. “So when are you guys going to join the US?”

Borrowed AND modified from the Canada Page

The Adventures of the Time Travelers

Well, this journal has made it safely into the harddrive of my laptop. Even though technically I wrote it 500 hundred years before computers as we know it were even invented.

I have just gotten back from travelling to the past in the time machine my friends and I made one night using a cardboard box, a lightning rod, a few soda cans and an extension chord, and boy is the world ever a different place than when we left good old 3008. We originally were trying to go back in time to spare our old friend Chico's life, again, and got caught up in some of the goings ons of our worlds' history and wound up preventing Canada from becoming a country.

It all started when our machine took us to Washington D.C. during the war of 1812, because my buddies Superfly and Wolfgang wanted to get pictures of Washington D.C. in pre-industrial era. I've been trying to get Wolfgang to quit smoking for some time now, and I don't know all that was going on but there was this opportunity to take a picture near the Whitehouse real quick before anyone caught us or saw us. While we took about 12-15 pictures with our digital camera from the future, Wolfgang threw his lit cigar away, and it caught some grass on fire. Next thing you know the Whitehouse is on fire, and to this day the Americans blamed the British for it, and the Canadians try claiming it was them and so forth. Well, now you know what really happened, and the reason for the uncertainty is nobody wants to admit it just 'happened', but there'd be a lot of problems if we were found out for our time machine.

Anyway, we travelled further into the future, during the 21st century, and prevented Chico from choking on cheez whiz in his trailor park home. We were all so grateful to have spared his life yet again. And so was his wife and fifteen kids. However, we spoke too soon, as danger and tragedy accompany all of my time and space travels. As we were trying to lift off of the ground and travel forward in time back to our present past, er, something like that--the time traveling machine got stuck in a tree branch. We drew straws as to who would go out onto the limb and hack off the branch in our way, and Chico was the one who drew the smallest straw. While we he was hacking it, I accidentally hit the control switch and the machine took off before Chico could get back in in time, and with one arm hanging on for dear life to the cardboard wall, he turned into a fossil right before our eyes! No! Chico! Why you and not me?! Oh right, he drew the smallest straw--nevermind. How am I ever going to look your wife and fifteen kids in the eye--again!? Oh well, with one less person the weight pressure put on the cardboard floor was lessened, so we took off a lot easier into the sky.

Well time is running short, maybe I won't get to share about what happened with Canada after all, but trust me, it was never meant to be America's 51st state or the monkey on America's back--trust me, in an alternate timeline Canada IS a country prior to us messing around in the past with this time machine.

Americans all wish they could be Canadian.

I know my American friends think I'm a very patriotic Canadian, and I simply tell them "No, I'm not. I'm just glad I'm not American." That's how most Canadians feel. Then I have my Canadian friends who think I'd rather be American. Which is simply not true either. I'd rather live in America because it's warmer. In Canada you can only go east and west, and if you go North it gets way colder than I already can't stand. Whereas in the U.S. you have Florida, and North Carolina, and Alabama. Interesting cultures.

And I like it because there's still a smidget of religious morality left, unlike Canada where it's now illegal to quote the Bible to say anything is wrong with homosexuality. (Has anyone tried pushing the limit on that one and seeing what happens?)

It seems Americans don't know anything about the world except how it pertains to America. If something were going on elsewhere, they wouldn't know it because it doesn't mean anything to them. However, the rest of the world, especially their neighbors to the north, know more that's going on in America than they do Canada. Why? Because Canada is a boring country with nothing of worldwide importance going on. Let's face it, we're a European country located in North America.

I've heard several times in recent months how America supposedly won the Second World War by itself. Excuse me? What history books are you reading? Have you ever heard of Dieppe for an example of Canadian contribution to such a piece of history? Or how Canada had been fighting in it for two years before Pearl Harbor was bombed--and then you guys joined? But the rest of the world tolerates this revisionist history, and that's fine. Also, anyone claiming America could just invade Canada and take us over--though I pretty much agree and welcome it (that way I'd never have a hard time crossing the border again, AND I could stay a Canadian citizen!) do some research. See the two times in history you ever took us on, and how we kicked your butt, and in one case burned your White House Down (ever paid attention to the lyrics of the anthem you sing?)

Anyway. I came across an article and it made me laugh out loud hysterically, and hopefully it will with you too! I know Canadians reading this will just roll their eyes and say "It figures about those yankees", and Americans will read this not having any idea what I'm talking about (Figures about those yankees!). But if America is so great, and answers to no one, and can start wars with other countries just because she feels like it and has the power, then why do they want to travel abroad pretending to be Canadian? Why not be proud to be American? It takes no guts whatsoever to wave your flag inside your own country when there's no threat to you for it, but why not plaster your country's flag on your bag when travelling abroad INSTEAD of pretending you're Canadian? That's like wearing a Christian T-shirt to church but not your workplace or school where it was designed to be worn.

Could it be that the Canadian people have a better reputation on the international scene that you want to ride? I'm not saying Canada is the greatest country in the world or nothing, but I'm just proud to be a Canadian after living in the US in a post 9/11 world. I'd love to stay here, but I'd never renounce my Canadian citizenship for the world. Even if God told me to, I'd beg him to reconsider and "let this cup pass from me".

And if the yankees are so proud to be American that they want to pretend they're Canadian while traveling abroad, go right ahead. It just proves my theory that I've been saying for three years now--that Americans are secrety envious of Canada.

Peace out.
Canada Steve

Thought of the day

Did you know that fish can drown?
Do you care?

Neither do I.

Senator Kerry playing with a kid