Well, this journal has made it safely into the harddrive of my laptop. Even though technically I wrote it 500 hundred years before computers as we know it were even invented.
I have just gotten back from travelling to the past in the time machine my friends and I made one night using a cardboard box, a lightning rod, a few soda cans and an extension chord, and boy is the world ever a different place than when we left good old 3008. We originally were trying to go back in time to spare our old friend Chico's life, again, and got caught up in some of the goings ons of our worlds' history and wound up preventing Canada from becoming a country.
It all started when our machine took us to Washington D.C. during the war of 1812, because my buddies Superfly and Wolfgang wanted to get pictures of Washington D.C. in pre-industrial era. I've been trying to get Wolfgang to quit smoking for some time now, and I don't know all that was going on but there was this opportunity to take a picture near the Whitehouse real quick before anyone caught us or saw us. While we took about 12-15 pictures with our digital camera from the future, Wolfgang threw his lit cigar away, and it caught some grass on fire. Next thing you know the Whitehouse is on fire, and to this day the Americans blamed the British for it, and the Canadians try claiming it was them and so forth. Well, now you know what really happened, and the reason for the uncertainty is nobody wants to admit it just 'happened', but there'd be a lot of problems if we were found out for our time machine.
Anyway, we travelled further into the future, during the 21st century, and prevented Chico from choking on cheez whiz in his trailor park home. We were all so grateful to have spared his life yet again. And so was his wife and fifteen kids. However, we spoke too soon, as danger and tragedy accompany all of my time and space travels. As we were trying to lift off of the ground and travel forward in time back to our present past, er, something like that--the time traveling machine got stuck in a tree branch. We drew straws as to who would go out onto the limb and hack off the branch in our way, and Chico was the one who drew the smallest straw. While we he was hacking it, I accidentally hit the control switch and the machine took off before Chico could get back in in time, and with one arm hanging on for dear life to the cardboard wall, he turned into a fossil right before our eyes! No! Chico! Why you and not me?! Oh right, he drew the smallest straw--nevermind. How am I ever going to look your wife and fifteen kids in the eye--again!? Oh well, with one less person the weight pressure put on the cardboard floor was lessened, so we took off a lot easier into the sky.
Well time is running short, maybe I won't get to share about what happened with Canada after all, but trust me, it was never meant to be America's 51st state or the monkey on America's back--trust me, in an alternate timeline Canada IS a country prior to us messing around in the past with this time machine.
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